These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Seen at the side of a Sussex road: Slow cattle crossing. no overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. everyone welcome
Sign warning of quicksand: Quicksand. any person passing this point will be drowned. by order of the district council.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order
Notice in a dry cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Sign on motorway garage: Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
Notice in health food shop window: Closed due to illness
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