* This topic comes as a surprise to you.
* Your wife has had a deadbolt installed on her nightgown.
* You don't remember your shower radio having a 220-volt feeder.
* Instead of a kiss, your girlfriend greets you with a hearty kick to the groin.
* You've got a divot in your head from the new golf club your wife gave you.
* You've got a red mark on your face that bears a striking resemblance to the shape of your girlfriend's hand.
* You're so caught up in online porn that time, in general, has no meaning whatsoever.
* You've got a high-heel sticking out of your rear end.
* Cupid flips you the bird.
* Your intern won't even TALK to you.
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