* Thinking of you sweetheart, which, technically, the court order can't prevent.
* Just wanted to say "I love you" when I wasn't falling down drunk.
* If only we weren't so closely related!
* Even though I'm a Bosnian Serb, You're my favorite Croat Muslim!
* I'm too shy to ask in person, but what is that thing on your face? A mole, a wart? WHAT????
* You're too beautiful to resist, my under-the-ether dental patient.
* I'm more than half interested in you, my hermaphroditic darling!
* The Medicated Shampoo Took Care of It.
* I'm Glad the Arkansas State Troopers Brought You to My Hotel Room, Valentine!
* I'll Give You Money To Have Sex With Me.
* Just thinking of you while I am drunk and no one else will have sex with me.
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